Crank (2006)

Rating:

It’s totally crazy, raw and stupid—that’s a good thing. This is one so unHollywood a Hollywood mayhem you’d wanna start a chaos inside the moviehouse in heart-pounding excitement. Swift, non-stop and wildly aggressive, “Crank” sets a new standard for action movies (making others look so old). You’d never thought a movie that is pointless, and with no redeeming value can be well, so fun. It’s excessively unreasonable and stupid, and that’s the whole point of it. This is a rare in-your-face, over the top action that knows what it wants and knows how to get it done. Dementedly original!!

The “Transporter” star Jason Statham plays as the professional assassin Chev Chelios who wakes up realizing he has been injected with a high-tech poison, which a doctor later says should kill him within an hour. Not unless he keeps his adrenaline pumping. Thus off he goes to seek for revenge on Ricky Verona (Jose Pablo Cantillo) who admits injecting the poison onto Chev while seeking for ways (making out in public included) on how to keep his blood pressure from going down.

It’s the breakneck editing that makes the ride so engaging. Its brutal turbulence and foul language make it a perfect movie for anybody who has just undergone detox, a dating couple, priests and nuns, and children below 13. Daym, I’m just kidding.

What’s so beyond me, Lion’s Gate didn’t seem to have promoted this movie at all.

© 2006 Jonathan Susvilla